👗hot dot dress in campaign 11
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As I grow my amazing team daily, I find that each new Representative needs different things on their way to success.
Different things motivate and inspire people, just like finding new customers.
I put together a short video on how to make a few small changes in your daily routine, to build a strong customer base and lead bank to build your team!
Something I am very passionate about that every business needs to sustain growth far into the future is great mentor-ship of future leaders.
I find where many businesses and leaders fail is in the promotion and coaching of leaders on their team. Often “Leaders” of businesses get stuck in the mindset of, “It is just easier if I do it,” “I can’t take the risk of something going wrong,” or, “No one can do it as good as me” mindset. Can I tell you yes, it is easier at the moment, but you are wrong, it is risky, but you are wrong, and yes no one can do it as good as you because you haven’t mentored them, again you are wrong. You are the one holding your business back if this is how you see things. The upside to that is….. you also hold the key to success! It’s completely up to you my friend!
If your goal is to be a business that is a, “one hit wonder” that lasts a good 10-20 years and falls apart when you step away, then stay with that mind set!
However, if your goal is to create and promote a business that competes long into the future and stays alive and well for years and years beyond your tenure then I encourage you to change the way you think, and continue reading!
So what is coaching/mentoring anyway? Based on my experience and training in the direct selling industry on both the corporate and independent consultant side of things it is mentoring, promoting self discovery, growth, and independence, to name a few. Ultimately, leadership, in my eyes, is promoting independent, forward thinkers that continue growing, and promoting growth around them, to propel business far into the future. Does your entire business stop when you step away? If so, it is due to a lack of developing leaders. If you ever want to retire and have your business live on, or simply take a vacation…… I suggest growing, and developing the number of leaders on your team.
First, you must become the best leader you can! Research, seek out books on leadership, emotional intelligence, and mentoring. Seek your own mentor, someone who has a proven history of success in your field, someone that can coach and mentor YOU! THIS IS IMPORTANT! No one is perfect, and if we believe that we are, we are holding ourselves back…. dare I say….. Get over yourself, to better yourself? I always say, “Stay in a student’s mind set, ALWAYS!” We can never stop learning and growing. The day we do, is the day we have nothing new to offer the future! FIND A MENTOR that “Stretches” you. Someone that challenges your comfort zone, and sees things you DO NOT see!
I was a competitive dancer most of my life, from 18 months old I was on a stage performing. I can still here my instructors say, “If it hurts, you are doing it right,” or “No pain, no gain.” The same principals apply in leadership and business! If you feel a bit out of your element, stay there until you feel comfortable again, and then find something else to be, “Uncomfortable” about, and start growing there. DO NOT take the easy road and quit when it gets tough, you will only be quitting YOURSELF! There is no growth in comfort zones!
Before we can coach others we must be coached!
Have you learned to identify areas of opportunity in your business? How many Representatives on your team can you truly say are continuously growing their business? Is anyone declining in sales? Anyone plateaued in sales? Anyone growing slightly in sales each campaign? Anyone growing at a rapid rate in sales campaign after campaign, year after year? Anyone that has started their leadership team, and stopped finding recruits? Anyone building their team at an incredible rate, but not quite growing their title?
What does your 1:1 schedule look like with each one of your team members? Do you know what each of your team members goals are? The reason I ask these two questions together is because you cannot build your schedule without understanding what their goals are, or how much time you will need to dedicate to each team member. Understanding what their personal and business goals are will help you build a strong calendar that promotes growth for each team member based on the time they have to dedicate to their business and the goals they express to you!
Need help getting this info from them?
Take a survey! I find google forms is a great way to gather information as you can text, post and even email out a simple link they can click on quickly and reply with ease!
For example: A team member that states they are looking to build a full time income based business that pays all their monthly bills, will certainly require more coaching/mentoring from you. They may need to connect more than once a week for their 1:1 coaching time with you!
A team member that is simply starting their business for a personal discount may only need or want to connect 1 a month or through email and text only! You see…. we must know their purpose for being here, and where they want to go and by when! The reason we need to know “By when,” is for accountability and a deadline. Knowing when they want to achieve their goals is directly related to their goal.
For example: If the team member states their goal is to pay off their debt in 6 months, depending on how much debt they have you will want to create a sales plan WITH THEM, DO NOT create it for them. It will not promote leadership, if you have worked through the planning on your own. Additionally, it will make the process personal. Create a sales plan each campaign that will generate a certain amount of money each month to go toward their debt. The sales plan must be strategically created so that each month of the 6 months goal is evenly spread and realistic. Setting unrealistic, lofty goals will result in disappointment if they do not reach their goals, which will hurt the retention and moral on your team! We want our team members to ACHIEVE, not fail! Express this to them when creating the plan with them! With a deadline we can set a pace!
Throughout the plan their must be, check points. What are check points? Throughout the timeline (while their is still time to course correct if they are not on pace to achieve their goal) have a 1:1 connection with them. Ask them, “Based on the plan you created to pay off your debt in 6 months, you decided to sell $600 this campaign. We still have 5 days left in the campaign, how are your sales so far?” Their answer will drive your coaching conversation. However, whether they have overshot their goal or undershot their goal, you will want to ask, “What did you do, or what have you been doing to achieve that?” If they are falling short or are ahead of their goal, what they have done up to this point will be the cause. Either way they still have time, due to the checkpoint placement, to impact their progress towards their goal. STAY in TOUCH, recognize them at each point of their journey! Coach them through the process. The sense of accomplishment and overwhelming gratitude they will have for you will be unbelievable! Recognize them personally, and publicly (if they allow)! Set their next goal and timeline, then repeat!
The coaching you give them will be an example of how they will coach their team as they start building! What we do and do not do set an example for our future leaders.
Identify potential leaders! Of course there will always be those individuals that are natural leaders. These individuals simply take off running! Some of these types are what I call “Sprinters in a marathon.” These individuals start out FULL SPEED, and burn out in the home stretch, or when things get tough. I find this type of leader may not necessarily need “Skill building” mentoring on a task per say, but rather consistent recognition along the way, reminding them of the small things they have achieved.
Often this type is a high achiever, that is incapable of seeing their successes because they are only looking for the HUGE WINS, or simply going to fast. The RPM’s are too high! We want them to, “Stop and smell the roses.” It is up to us to open their eyes to all they have accomplished along the way, pacing them to avoid a burnout, and coaching them through the burnout if it happens.
In the aftermath, as their coach/mentor be sure to use the burnout (if it happens) as a tool for mentoring moving forward. “What do you think got you to this point?” (Self Discovery is so important) “How did that make you feel?” Did you reach your goal, or fall short?” (If fallen short) What do you think caused this?” “What do you feel you could do differently in the future to promote a different outcome?” Open ended questions such as this, give the leader an opportunity to not only self reflect, but to also self discover, and recreate their own plan of action for the future.
They may not realize it but this is a huge step in growing as a leader, and the burnout was actually a great event in their journey that will strengthen them as a future leader. However, they may not realize this without a great coach/mentor helping them self discover, and supporting them along the way. Never assume someone, doesn’t need your coaching, believe it or not there can be leaders that need to slow down, to gain speed in the marathon, “Slow down to gain momentum I suppose.” Stay close to them. Many GREAT leaders are lost this way! BUT NOT UNDER YOUR WATCH!
There are individuals that are high personal performers but do not and have nor ever see themselves as leaders. I have learned that most times people do not see their own potential because if they did, we would all be successful leaders! I know this because in actuality, the beautiful thing is, EVERYONE has the potential to be a great leader, leadership is something that can be learned and nurtured with great mentor-ship! Which YOU have to offer!
I find these individuals also, simply need recognition of what they don’t see! Recognize them for their success, have a conversation with them, I bet they don’t EVER celebrate their personal wins! CALL THEM OUT! Share with them, the skills that you see IN THEM, and how they could influence great leadership and foster an incredibly successful team that mimic the same behaviors they exhibit if they are open and willing to learn and grow with your coaching/mentoring!
Yes, I said, IF. It is crucially important to always ask permission, feel them out, are they open and receptive to learning and growing? Or are they happy where they are? Either is fine, but what you DO NOT want to do is, “Sink the ship to save 1 person or a few,” that are simply happy staying where they are. Again, in direct selling we are our own boss, so remember it is perfectly OK that they may want to stay where they are. Not everyone wants a huge business. So give them recognition consistently, but do not spend all your time coaching and mentoring someone that is not interested. For one, you are wasting your time, and their time. For two you are not giving your mentoring talent to someone who is eager and in need of it!
There is a difference between skill and will. A person can have the will with no skill (the skill can be learned), but they cannot have skill with no will, at least not for growth! So essentially, it is very important to 1: know what each member of your team is here for, and why did they start their business? Also, 2: Where do they want to go with their business, and what are their goals? Plan accordingly.
There are individuals that may appear as if they want the business growth, but really just want your time. Again, it is our job to help them self discover. I have worked with many individuals, that I found when I stopped driving, they would, “Fall apart”, or at least their business would. I found that often this type of individual is looking more for, your time, a companion, or friendship, which again, is also FINE! However, help them identify what they really are in need of before you start putting all your valuable time and energy into their growth. If time is all they want, grab coffee with them weekly, and recognize them on their wins each week! However, DO NOT spend all your time coaching someone that is not interested in growing for the growth of their business, to reach their goals.
Many people come to direct selling to socialize and build a circle of acquaintances, and new friends. They may simply want to learn to socialize! So socialize with them, and show them how they can grow their business here and there while learning to socialize, and gain a new network of friends! 2 for 1 special!
There is the “Humble, high achiever” I like to call them! The best quality, in my opinion, in potential leaders, and the ones that win the marathon, are the ones that are, “Coach-able.” What do I mean? The individual I am referencing here is open, and excited about being coached, and often self corrects and identifies areas off opportunity to grow before you even step into the picture. These individuals may be able to recognize it, they simply need help identifying, “What to do now?” They know they want to grow, and where they need the growth, but are not exactly sure how to make that growth happen.
This is where you come in. As always, promote self discovery, ask open ended questions that promote building their own plan, with a timeline, and deadlines. This will also instill accountability, a great characteristic all leaders NEED!
A goal with out a plan of action, time line, and deadline, is a fantasy. Create a plan WITH THEM, and check points to connect on. Identify where they are pacing against their goals. At these check points, adjust accordingly, course correct in correlation with their goals and the deadline THEY’VE set!
VERY IMPORTANT! Know that whether or not the individual achieves their goal, there is a huge lesson and opportunity for growth presented. If the goal is reached, GREAT! Start the self discovery/coaching conversation. Ask them: “What did you do that you felt helped you achieve your goal?” “What do you feel may have off set the achievement of your goal ?” “What will you change in the future?” “How do you feel about your achievement?” (Tying an emotion to an achievement or lack of achievement is so important. Often people may not remember the instance, or what was said, but they will remember how they felt, and if they want to feel that way again. As humans, I feel, we are wired to either chase pleasant feelings again (achievement) or avoid unpleasant feelings (non achieved goals) again. Identifying this emotion will help them set their next goal, or whether the goal was to high or the timeline was too short for the goal they set. Either way let THEM set THEIR OWN goals. Even if we know the goal may be too high or the timeline may be too short. There are times the best mentoring is NOT in the mentor stating, “That is NOT going to work,” the best way to coach in my experience is letting them set the goal and allowing their outcome to coach them the next time. Other wise if you step in and auto correct their decision they will never experience what DOESN’T work, and may try it in the future. “What is your next goal?” “When will you achieve this goal?” If they DO NOT achieve the goal the same principals apply! “What do you feel contributed to this outcome?” “What do you feel may have off set the achievement of your goal ?” “What will you change in the future?” “How do you feel about your achievement?” “What is your next goal?” “When will you achieve this goal?” Be sure they KNOW this is not a failure, or a place to quit, in every “weakness” their is opportunity for growth. I believe there are no weakness simply opportunities!
At the end of the day, they must want it more than you!
As always, stay close to your mentor, never stop learning and growing. My mother always said, “No one and nothing can take away your mind, faith, memories, or education.” Fill that brain with as much knowledge as you can! You will have more to offer those that you coach the more you learn! Of course if you know me, I must add a little faith will always carry you! Faith is powerful!
Good Day Beauty Boss!
Good for you for taking the time to learn and grow! I am certain that reading this Blog Post will give you great insight on how you CAN create a residual income with your Avon Business from building relationships and sharpening your very own skills! Rest assured that you can create a business that gives you security and consistency on payday!
Below you will find 10 Tips that will help you start and create a business that you can count on campaign after campaign! Guess what, all these tips are FREE and you already have them within you! Let’s put them to use!
This post gives you highlights, be sure and follow my blog to receive a deep dive into each one of the tips below!
STAY HUMBLE! ALWAYS REMAIN IN A STUDENT’S MIND SET! Believe it or not you and I DO NOT know everything! The more open we are to the right mentors and tools/materials available to us the more we can learn and grow and the more we can offer our customers and team members! No one can drink from an empty well, a car cannot run with out gas, and you can not thrive in your business without learning and growing everyday! Take advantage of those that have had success, reach out for ideas and tips. READ, if you find an area of opportunity for you to grow, do your research and become an expert! Never become STILL! With Avon your growth is unlimited, and not just financially, your personal and professional growth is unlimited as well!
Hello Beauty Boss!
As a busy mom of two small children life is hectic, and unpredictable at times, in fact MANY TIMES, therefore I have found that keeping a tight calendar and remaining consistent is a must for growth both personally and professionally! Please review this video, OF COURSE MY LITTLE ELIJAH POPS IN! Enjoy! We all have obstacles and hurdles to jump in all that we do, it is how we manage our calendar and our thoughts that makes all the difference!
Welcome to Avon! Congratulations on starting your very own beauty business!
Below you will find 10 simple and easy things to do that will help you kick your business off STRONG!
2. Immediately contact your Avon Mentor! This will be shared with you in the welcome email Avon automatically sends when you sign up as an Avon Representative! You have been assigned a personal mentor to coach you through starting and continuously building a strong lucrative business! Stay in close contact with your mentor, find them on Facebook! It will also be listed on http://www.youravon.com under important info on your home screen log in page at the bottom right hand corner!
3. Navigate the site! You cannot hurt anything! Do your research! Clicking around the http://www.youravon.com site will help you better understand and find things! We learn by research and doing!
4. Check out your “Profile” on the top right corner of the page. Be sure and enroll in the direct deposit program for quick and easy payments immediately as you build your online customer base and leadership team! Direct deposit is the BEST! Enroll in the Avon customer referral program as well! Avon customer referral program helps you build your business!
I was inspired to write this blog post , honestly years ago but wasn’t sure where to place it. I was thinking back on my life and the gratitude I have for the great mentors I had in my life.
If you have read my initial story of how I got where I am today in business, you know that horses are a huge part of my life. So when I was remembering where my greatest life lessons were and who they came from, I must say it wasn’t people, it was my horses.
I encourage you to think back on your journey and maybe you’ll find your greatest mentors were also a bit more “Unconventional.”
Let me start with Big Foot or as we called him, “Big Wig.” He was the first horse that I ever leased. He was a beautiful Grade horse (mixed breed-unregistered) gelding in his late 20’s. He had been one of the main lesson horses used at the riding stable.
In his old age he was sure footed and safe for beginner riders. He was gentle, kind, and forgiving. Which was a great fit for heavy-handed new riders. He had one vice, he was a scaredy cat. So riding in an indoor arena with a cover all wasn’t always a “Joy ride.” Why? The snow in the winter would slide off the tarp roof and sound like a race car zipping by over head. This happened quite often considering we live in upstate New York. Big Foot always spooked when this happened.
I worked with him tirelessly, everyday I was in the barn with him grooming, and riding….. giving him too many treats.
As a young girl in middle school, growing up was tough. If you are a mother of a middle school aged daughter/son, know that bullying is a very real issue and horrendous at that age! My middle school days were extremely unpleasant, so my barn time was my therapy. The horses loved me just the way I was. They didn’t care about my appearance, or my past, they were just happy I was there grooming and spending time with them. Big Foot was my best friend.
One day at the barn my Big Foot was hurt, he could not return to his feet. Something was very wrong. We spent the next few days nursing him and taking care of him like a newborn baby. I remember because he could not stand he would urinate on himself. I spent hours with him in the freezing cold arena drying his urine covered legs with a human hair dryer. This took hours. To relieve his discomfort from one side, we would have to turn him with big ropes. Even through all of this he was still a kind gentleman.
After many vet calls, it turned out Big Foot was paralyzed in his hind quarters. This meant he could no longer walk. Big Foot passed away, shortly after that, I remember being devastated.
What Big Foot taught me: I was acceptable just the way I was, and I would be okay, even without Big Foot around anymore. I could “Ride on” without him. I had great things to offer the world regardless of others opinions. Thank you Big Foot.
Translate to Business: There will always be people that doubt you, and obstacles yo overcome. We must remain focused on our mission, and our talents. We must remember what it is, we CAN offer the world through our business. Not the opinions of others.
After preparing the entire winter for the upcoming show season with Big Foot, and losing him, I was without a show horse. That was until, my first riding instructor, called my mother late one night. I remember it was a white out snow storm that night. However, my mother and my riding instructor said it was an “Emergency” and I had to come QUICK!
She had purchased two mares, one she thought was perfect for me for the upcoming show season. She definitely needed some work, and tlc, but Miss “Opie” had more than a little potential. Opie was a double registered Pinto/Paint mare. Her registered name was “Scrimshaw Stormy Doll,” we called her “Opie,” because I gave her a barn name, Penelope. She was an absolute doll. Kind as can be, and never stepped out of line. She was gentle in nature, with HUGE brown eyes, I remember she had the longest eyelashes.
I immediately fell in love with her. I’ll never forget her Big Roman nose (which is an undesirable trait in the horse world) however she was beautiful to me. What I loved about Opie was her heart. She may not have had the perfect confirmation (anatomy and physiology) but what she did have was determination, resiliency, and a love for me that was unwavering.
We worked and worked together, both learning new things we had never done to prepare for the new show season. When I got her she was about 13, I was also about 12/13, like sisters. I needed her and she needed me. I spent everyday with her sometimes from morning until night.
That show season, we won just about everywhere we went both English and Western. We collected so many Championship awards we lost track! That year we were the County Western Champions, we won the Sportsmanship Award at the County Fair, and qualified for the State Level Competition that summer. We traveled back and forth to rodeos and made beautiful memories together.
What Opie taught me: There was light at the end of the tunnel. Something beautiful always comes out of sadness. The wins we shared together gave me confidence that I had lost through the bullying. Her trust in me, made me worthy of something. My trust in her made her worthy of something. Opie taught me to trust again. Thank you Opie.
Translate to Business: Mentor and spend the time with those with heart, passion, resiliency, and determination, they may not look the part, they may not have all the skill, but they have the will to try. Skill and will are completely different. You can have will with NO skill, but you cannot have skill with no will. These are your top performers, the coach-able ones. The ones that stay centered on their why.
Like every novice rider, we eventually must advance to a more intermediate level horse to continue learning and growing. I actually saw this horse before any other horse at the stable, his name was, Quincy. I remember watching the most advanced rider at the stable at the time, riding him one afternoon outside. The rider was doing this up and down motion, which I later learned was English posting. Quincy, at the time, had a reputation to be a little short tempered, and silly.
I remember feeling quite accomplished to have been chosen to take on, Quincy. Who at the time was the most advanced horse at the stable. He was 16.1 hands high and absolutely stunning. He had a fun personality, I remember he used to nibble on my hair when I picked his hooves. When he had a tiny ache somewhat like a “Human splinter to a horse” he would act like he had been brutally hurt intentionally, and mope around in a miserable state. He would cough like he was in agonizing pain to get out of work………. we felt. Such a character!
Quincy, was a young Champion at the age of 2 in the big state of Texas. His registered name was “Conclusive Quinarious” he was just as complex as his name. He showed all over the state of New York with previous owners and had quite the reputation for being superb! Much like Opie and I.
Well needless to say, Quincy, and I never claimed any wins, as we generally ended up in a tiff in the middle of the show ring. However, Mr. Quincy taught this girl, how to ride. He always performed beautifully at home, we were a stunning team AT HOME, he saved his tricks for the show ring.
What Quincy taught me: “Stay in the Saddle” Stay humble, learn and grow, the wins don’t define you. The growth is the win.
Also, titles can be hard to live up to. This is why we measure the growth not the number of titles and/or trophies.
Translate to Business: In business it is important to always track your growth, and your teams growth. Be sure to recognize yourself and your team! You may not be the number one top seller in the country, but your average order per Representative may be $1 higher than last week! Take the hard work as growth, and look for the small wins to offer recognition. Remain humble……always. Seek great mentors that have, “Been there.”
Don’t feel pressure to win the title year after year, look where you were and where you’ve come. Measure the growth, that is the win.
Fast forward a few horses later, I bought my first horse the summer I turned 14. I worked all summer at a local Recreation Program, as a Counselor. I earned $1500 for the entire summer! That is exactly how much, “Champion” cost. I gave him the full name, “Champion of my Texas Heart.” He was a 6 year old Sorrel (Red coat) Quarter Horse gelding. I gave the previous owner each of my paychecks until he was paid in full. I couldn’t believe it when I saw my name on his paperwork! I was not only in love with him, I was very proud of myself. I learned to have a strong work ethic through my horses, and there are rewards for that.
Champion, reminded me so much of, Big Foot, large, strong, and gentle natured. Like Ferdinand the Bull, he was a gentle giant. He too was afraid of his own shadow.
I rode him everywhere, on trails, in shows, etc. One of my absolute favorite places to be was in the show ring, however, this was not “Champion’s” favorite place to be by any stretch. The pressure made him nervous.
There were times I pushed him too hard trying to “Train” him to be something he was never physically capable of being. I set him up for failure with unattainable goals.
I later found out he had stifle issues, so instead of pushing him, I decided to enjoy nature, with my peaceful trail horse. Champion, had the mind to show, but was physically incapable.
I still have Champion to this day, and have named my second son, Elijah Champion, after him. Turns out, Elijah, is just as sweet natured as him! Champions, forever home will be with my family, and I.
What Champion taught me: Enjoy the simple things in life, instead of a show, enjoy nature and take trail ride. I loved the calmness of trail riding, and listening to the sounds of nature and my horse breathing. I loved the sound of hooves brushing the leaves as we walked through the woods.
He was much happier enjoying the trails and nature with me, he was in his element. My role with, Champion, was to be his calm support, and care giver, not his intense show trainer. Constantly reminding him he didn’t measure up. It wasn’t something that could be trained, he physically couldn’t do it. What he gave me was something I didn’t realize I needed, peace.
Translate to Business: Seek and find the strength in yourself and your team first. Instead of leading with what YOU want to be your strength, and your teams strength. If you can find that first, there will be no feeling of failure, or idea that someone doesn’t ,”Measure up.” When people are in the right place they thrive whether or not they come with the skill. The skill can be learned, all they need is the will to try. As a leader/coach it is crucial to assist people in self discovery. They must identify their own strengths.
I don’t believe in the word, “Weakness,” I prefer the phrase, “Area of opportunity.” This assumes they have the will, and humility to grow and accept coaching. This is an opportunity to grow, NOT a weakness.
Now that I had my peaceful trail horse, I still longed to be in the show ring. I then found, Sage. Sage, was a registered, Quarter Horse mare, she was 5 years old. A great age to show and grow with! Sage, was by far the most beautifully put together horse I had ever seen. She was a halter judges ideal horse. A halter judge scores a horse and places them, based on their, “Confirmation,” anatomy and physiology, or figure so to speak. She was absolutely gorgeous, even her coat glistened naturally.
However, no one EVER rode her. She was a different stable owners project. No one wanted to work with her, which of course only made me more interested. In my mind she was just misunderstood. I of course fell in love with her.
I had to have her. I worked with her day after day in the round pen. I only rode her in a halter because she hadn’t had a bit yet. I must have been crazy at that point considering she had cornered me and come after me multiple times, as she had so many others. She would turn toward me, stand on her hind legs and strike her front quarters at me.
I was determined not to give up on her. The problem was, she had scared many others that had tried working with her, and she knew it. She took these scares as wins and got more aggressive each time. Until one day she really almost hurt me, the stable owner thank, God, stepped in front of me. I was so driven by the fear of not letting her down, or failing that I put myself in harms way.
Shortly after that I took her to one of the states top trainers, thinking she could help me. This trainer even held a world title. I remember the first day was atrocious. Just like I knew she would, she went after her as well. Only this time the trainer was prepared for that, Sage’s threats did not work with her. By the end of the time with that trainer, I was riding her all over the place.
Truthfully, she was very trustworthy under saddle, it was standing next to her that was treacherous. She to this day had the smoothest gate of any horse I ever rode, this was due to her impeccable confirmation. I remember thinking, “If we could just get past this behavior problem, we would be unstoppable.”
She rode like a dream, we had no behavior problems for months. Until one day, she started again, only worse. She started refusing the bit, which was only ever a snaffle bit (one of the mildest and most forgiving bits made). She was again very unpredictable, and aggressive.
One day my instructor said to me, “Carly, I don’t think this mare is for you.” I couldn’t even believe what she was saying. I never intended to give up on her. In my heart I knew she was right. Needless to say, my perfect Sage, was the first and only horse I ever sold. Although, I loved her I had to let her go. Someone was a better fit for her somewhere, it just wasn’t me.
What Sage taught me: Sometimes what we expect to happen isn’t what is meant to be. A square will never fit in a circle space. What glimmers isn’t always gold, even if she was golden to me.
A decision based on emotion can lead us to places we should never be. Am I saying I should have never been with Sage, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Sage taught me this great lesson, that I have taken it with me all my life. I have trusted, and believed in people that I thought had good intention, and almost sank myself trying to save them.
Sometimes letting go is all we can do, but that doesn’t mean we have failed. It means we have grown. It takes a seasoned professional to say, this isn’t a good fit. Now I can make these decisions before going through this long process. We cannot save everyone and everything. Thank you my beautiful, Sage.
Translate to Business: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover! In business we must make sound, well thought out decisions based on fact, but also a little faith. The problem is at times we blur the, “Faith,” part. What I mean is, what we see as potential in people, or what we want for them, isn’t what they want for themselves. You can’t sink the entire ship (team) to save one person. Let them show their work and moral ethic, interview them, know their goals and intentions, know their dreams! Let them build credibility with you first. Get their commitment to growth. They have to want it more than you want it for them. Then start building and growing!
Lastly, I will share my story about my beautiful, and official show horse, who did make it to the show ring! My Lucey, Lou! I found her at a very well known, horse dealer, in the Quarter Horse industry. She came from a pristine blood line (family name), her family had an impeccable show record. Both her mother and father held multiple World titles, and so did all her brothers and sisters. She was a 2 year old, and her registered name was, “Gimme a Big Gold Star.” I named her, Lucey.
I must say, she has certainly lived up to that name. For one, when you hear the name, “Gimme…” you think of a little 3 year old girl in pig tails demanding all that she desired. That was, Lucey, she was cute, demanding, and ornery. STILL IS. “Lucey,” like, Lucille Ball, was also a character. She always did funny, un lady like things! For instance, below is an image of her scratching her rear end on a tree branch, bottom facing the road! Oh Lucey!
I remember there were 2 mares I was choosing between, Lucey a sorrel (red coat) and a beautiful bay (brown body with black legs) mare. I was drawn to the bay mare she was stunning. Lucey, on the other hand was pigeon toed, gangly, and had big donkey ears, that she hadn’t grown into yet. She was a site for sure.
Keep in mind I had just gone through, Sage. I was specifically looking for my show horse, with little to no behavior problems, YA RIGHT! So I decided to see how each one of the mares rode. I started with the bay mare. Saddling was a little rough she was very, “Light sided,” meaning she was irritable, so saddling or any touching made her skin twitch. She did not like it. In Western you have two split reins (they don’t connect in the middle). When getting ready to mount you have to cross both reins over the withers (lowest part of the horses main by the pommel (front) of the saddle), the bay mare jumped when I did this.
I thought, nope NOT again. I remembered previous spooky horses, and SAGE…. She was pretty, but I wanted a show horse, and considering all the unknowns that happen at shows, fairgrounds, etc… she wasn’t going to cut it.
I looked over at, Lucey, there she was pawing naughtily at the ground. I thought, “Goodness, here we go again, another impatient mare.” However, I saddled her up with not one single problem, and mounted her. She rode like Sage, even with that pigeon toe, had Opie’s, sound mind, and Quincy’s silly personality! I FOUND MY SHOW HORSE! Check out those big ears! 👇🏼
Lucey, didn’t take much, she had a natural gate (stride), she was a born athlete, thanks to her mom and dad! She accepted the show ring with literally no problem, nothing scared her. She was a tough competitor, and just what I needed! We had many, many wins!
The only time Lucey, gave me a real issue was when I, “Over trained her.” My perfectionist nature irritated her! She would quickly remind me that she didn’t need all that coaching! Almost as if she was saying, “You showed me that already, are you going to let me do this or what! Let me be, I got this.” I let her go, LITERALLY loosened the reins to the point they were practically dragging. She kept her slow, collected, desirable Western pleasure show gate, and lowered her head just even with her withers. When I let her show, SHE SHOWED! I was merely her passenger.
The only time, Lucey needed a heavier support was when she was tracking on her right lead. She showed me she needed the support, so I gave it to her, just as she had me. I supported her just enough to carry her through, and look effortless in the show ring. She said, “That’s enough, Carly, that’s all I need, I can do the rest.” That is just what she did. We learned both our strengths and weaknesses, and won show after show together.
Oh and those, long skinny, gangly legs, grew strong and beautiful, and she grew into her big donkey ears as well! She was a sassy, classy, confidant lady in the show ring!
I spent every day with Lucey! I still have her to this day. She spends her time in the pasture with her man, “Champion.” They are best friends, companions for life. She keeps him young, and he checks her little attitude from time to time. I suppose just like my husband and I.
What Lucey taught me: The show ring is not the place to train, if it hasn’t been gotten by then, you will find out. Train at home, show what you got. Know when to stop training, and coaching, know when to set people free. Give them the opportunity to take off without you. Let your team fly.
I had finally put all my experiences into play, when choosing her. I wasn’t choosing a horse on emotion, or appearance. I remembered what I wanted and chose a horse to fit the bill. I left with the best horse I’d ever shown.
Translate to Business: Coach and train your team, let them self discover. Know when to step away and let them fly. If they fall, you will know exactly where to pick them up, coach them and set them free again. GET OUT OF THEIR WAY! Other wise you are just coaching people to be dependent on you forever. Which does not promote growth and independence, this is a disservice to them, and you. In order to create independent leaders you have to know when to, step away.
Live your life with intention, and a strong intuition. My greatest mentors these days are my children! More stories to come!
You can find inspiration anywhere in your everyday routine, you just have to open your eyes!
Think about your life, who have been your greatest mentors? 💕